Deep thoughts

Trying my best

Hi world…

Today we get in school our certificates about tests in first semester. I am studying very hard and I am kinda good. But the thing is that I don’t want to be kinda good, but perfect. I am very good in Slovene, Geography, History, P.E., Art, Biology, Physic… Only two subject I am not very good are Maths and Chemistry. Don’t understand me wrong, I don’t have F. I have B. And I hate that, ’cause even if I try my best, (I always try my best) in the end I am always disappointed. ‘Cause fail.

But I don’t always fail.

If you reed ‘My story’ you know that I was(I still am for a little, bu just a little) hunted by my past. There was a mess in my mind… I’m not gonna talk(write:) about that again.  Well past throw shadows on me… Even more shadows than I thought.

I am a big optimist, I always belive in things that seem to be impossible. And in past I belived, that I can win. But I failed. And this is when began to stop beliving in hope… An optimist inside me started dying…

There were times when(hate it, hate it, hate it, but is true) my Math tests were always C:(.   I was trying and trying and trying to do my best, but I was only falling again and again………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Why?

‘Cause I lost hope, that I’m gonna get B.  I thought that I can only wish to get B. I thought, that I am not smart enough. And than I realized that I can do it. I realized that I coulden’t do it only ’cause I belived, that I can’t do it. And after all this drama whit realizing, you know, my Math test was B(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):). I was so happy, not only, ’cause I get B, but ’cause I shown myself that i am not that dumb.

So, why did I wrote, that I am sad Cause I have B  at Maths an Chemistry? In true, I a not sad because of that two subject. It’s because of ethics. I don’t know for others but in my country we have subject about politics and culture and why I have B?!?! Me, girl who actually cares about what’s happening round’ the world? Me who wrote blog about that? This subject called ‘Ethics’ is really bad. We don’t really talk about ethics, what’s right and what’s wrong and what’s going on on Earth, but only teaching information about organisation about politics.

And here, now, I’m gonna make a decision. I’m not going to be worried about this stupid, bade, evil, subject everybody hates. I’m not gonna be worried.

‘Cause I know that I don’t need ‘certificate about perfection’.

Comments are welcome!:)<3

-Flower in rainy day


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