Hi world!!!!!!! 😀
I have a lots of friends. Some of them are really, really good friends. But only two people on this world that know me, I allow to read this blog.
My boyfriend(in last blog I said that I am gonna call him Nick, sooo…)read it. And my friend from judo. Let’s call her Summer. Why this two folks? Nick is someone I gave my heart to and I trust him, so that’s why I let him read it. And Summer? Her idea it was that I can start whit a blog.
But Summer is not my BFF. My BFF is my schoolmate, I’ll call her Ananya. We meet a little after drama whit Johann. She is so funny and she is always telling good jokes. There is also another friend on judo, I’m gonna name her Amber.
I have great fiends and family. I have boyfriend. In school I have good grades. I am good in sports. Some people say, that I talented for art. One day Amber said to me:”I want to be you.” That is nothing unusual for Amber, she is not afraid to speak her mind and she always tell what she thinks. Whit Ananya is different. She is not like Amber. But I know how she see me. She thinks that I a perfect. She don’t know……
The thing is that I am not perfect. I am not a robot, whitoute mistakes. In past, Ananya had to face many bad things. A lot of pain was already in her life. And it wasn’t her fault for them. She just didn’t have luck. And me? I made good times bad. I was in pain ’cause of myself. And all fear, anger, madness was my fault, ’cause I wasn’t brave when I had to be. Ananya is a lot of stronger than she thinks. She is a lot of stronger than me. Inside.
Ananya don’t know anything about my problems. But Amber knows. But she still say that she wants to be me. Why? I don’t know.
And yes, why I didn’t told Amber and Ananya for my blog? I was in pain, ’cause I was jelaus. And it is sooo hard to let this go. I don’t want them to feel the same. I’m not saying that I am so good blogger that they need to be jelaus(sorry for grammar mistakes and all other flaws). But I think they would be if they just hear for that. And if they hide that bad feeling inside? Than they gonna suffer like me.
Don’t understand me wrong. Ananya and Amber are great friends I just don’t want them be more jelaus then they allready are. Even if is stupid. Even if is wrong.
But I told Summer, right? I think that she is just not a person for being jelaus. Not on me. She knows my flaws and stupid(oh, soooooo stupid) mistakes, that seh just can’t just say:”I want to be you.”
-Flower in rainy day