Bad mood

Tired

Hello folks…. ❤

Past two months I had judo competitions every weekend, but this weekend i had free… I wanted to have relaxing, lazy Saturday and Sunday, full of this blog, reading, sleeping, ski jumping and eating… But it wasn’t like I want. My mum wanted to go to my grandma. She lives near the sea in Slovenia, hour long ride from my home. I had plans about this weekend and than she told me that we are going there… We had to help on grandma’s field. When she told me that I just said:’ok’. But when she went away from my room I just started crying.

This may sounds childish and weak. But everything I know is that I just couldn’t take it anymore. My head hurts for one week long and I am trying to let it go, but I can’t.  I JUST CAN’T. I am waking up early in the morning and that’s very strange for me. When I wake up I just want to sleep back, when I am eating my breakfast i want to sleep, while school I want to sleep, while judo training I am trying my best, but I still just wanna sleep and so on and on and on…

I am just tired. ‘Cause of everything. Tired inside. ‘Cause of all anger and hate. We have maths test in Friday, Physic tomorow and and and, I just can’t tell you how much i hate this two subjects right now. I am so angry on Tina(Why did you do that? Why?). i am angry on Johann(oh, how could you left me?) I am so angry on Nick(How do you dare to be sad ’cause of me?) I am angry on world. On universe. On everything and everyone.

 

And i feel crazy ’cause once when I was alone in the gym… I saw volleyball ball.  I started punching it…It flied sooooooo high, and my heand was hurting soooooooo much, but i didn’t and didn’t care.

And, gosh, I so wanna scream right now, ’cause I am so tired because all questions, thoughts, memories, EVERYTHING. Don’t be worried ’cause of me. I am ok. I am just tired. I am not depressed or somethin’ like that. Just. Tired.

This pic tells it all.

❤ ❤ ❤

-Flower in rainy day

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