Hello guys! ❤
I didn’t go to school today, because my head hurts a lot AGAIN-_- But the good thing was, that I had a little time on my own. I watched some episodes of Avatar:The last airbender. And in one episode, the main character, Aang said:“It’s easy to do nothing, but it’s hard to forgive.” And than other character, Katara, said back:“It’s not just hard, it’s impossible.”
And this made me think. A LOT. Yeah, about Nick. Again. Did you read post ‘Gone’ ? I f you did, you know that I think that everything is over between Nick and me. I said that sometimes scars are just to deep. I said that you sometimes just can’t forgive, even if you want. Is that true?
I am wondering. I maybe said that I forgive Tina. I did said that. But now I am only wondering…Is that true? Do I really forgive her? After everything? No, the voice in my head has said right now. And yes, THAT is the truth. I didn’t forgave her. Do I ever will? We didn’t do anything. We were just trying to forget. We were just trying to let it go. But I didn’t. I am still angry on her. How can I forgive, if we didn’t ever even talked?
And now Nick. Now, he is the one who can forgive. But how will he do it if we don’t do anything? If I don’t do anything? The thing is that i will do the same mistake as Tina, if we stay on where we are. I will do the same as someone who inflicted me very badly. Someone who broke me. And i don’t wanna do the same thing. But am I strong enough? Am I brave nough to do try to start friendship again?
The only thing I know is that if I don’t do it, i am gonna blame myself forever. And I don’t know if I can do it. I am afraid. I am. Why would I even try to hide it? But afraid of what? Maybe that he wont wanna do anything. Is that everything? Right now, I am kind a stressed because of that. Two days ago I didn’t want to look him in the eyes, but now I want to meet him again? I want? Do I really want that, or it’s because I don’t wanna hurt him even more?
Somehow, I don’t know whit who i agree. Aang or Katara? Do we sometimes really can’t forgive? Or we can, but it’s just soooo hard that we think that it’s impossible?
What do you think?