Hello guys, I am back from Germany!!!! 😀
It was AMAZING, but more about that later… Today I wanna talk about something else. I came home at 05.30 am, I was sleeping to 14.00 pm so I didn’t go to school… As I said, in Germany was great, but the bad thing is that we have Chemistry test on Thursday.
SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What Now?????!!!!!!!?????
Don’t understand me wrong, I was studying it before, but right now I see that I don’t know everything. Would I be good on a test? Don’t know, that’s the problem. In true, I don’t know enough. But how can you have perfect grades, train judo, sing in chorus, play guitar, be in drama club and be a blogger???? It’s hard, but not impossible, because i am doing it all. Ok, I don’t have perfect grades. I have good grades. Yes, I am such a perfectionist….
You know, I have something like status for athlete. If you are too busy whit sport stuff you can write test later than your schoolmates and so on. I can do that for Chemistry test, because I was traveling round Germany for five days, now, I am tired and In true I can’t write that test so good. But no. I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna say that I can’t. I don’t wanna quit. I wanna do it all…..
I feel so divided. Somehow, I just wanna relax and rest. I wanna let it go. At the same time, I want to everything. I wanna be good at everything….. Yes, I know, I was talking about it before. You already know that I am perfectionist. I thought that I can control that perfectionist inside me. Can I….?
When I say to myself:”Ok, Tara, now RELAX.” Yes, I say it, but I don’t do it. When I say:”Doesn’t matter, if your Eanglish test is not 5, but 4″, I do SAY it, but i don’t do it. And I wanna stop running, but can I? I never give up. I never quit. But sometimes we have to quit in some things, because we are not robots. But, why. Why if I know all that, why am I still trying to be soooooooooooooo perfect?
Is around here any other person who feels like me often? Is there anyone who can’t relax too? Anyone who is wrecking him/her self whit all that wanting?
Thank you guys for reading this, I love you all
❤ ❤ ❤