Bad mood

Divided

Hello guys, I am back from Germany!!!! 😀

It was AMAZING, but more about that later… Today I wanna talk about something else. I came home at 05.30 am, I was sleeping to 14.00 pm so I didn’t go to school… As I said, in Germany was great, but the bad thing is  that we have Chemistry test on Thursday.

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What Now?????!!!!!!!?????

Don’t understand me wrong, I was studying it before, but right now I see that I don’t know everything. Would I be good on a test? Don’t know, that’s the problem. In true, I don’t know enough. But how can you have perfect grades, train judo, sing in chorus, play guitar, be in drama club and be a blogger????  It’s hard, but not impossible, because i am doing it all. Ok, I don’t have perfect grades. I have good grades. Yes, I am such a perfectionist….

You know, I have something like status for athlete. If you are too busy whit sport stuff you can write test later than your schoolmates and so on. I can do that for Chemistry test, because I was traveling round Germany for five days, now, I am tired and In true I can’t write that test so good. But no. I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna say that I can’t. I don’t wanna quit. I wanna do it all…..

I feel so divided. Somehow, I just wanna relax and rest. I wanna let it go. At the same time, I want to everything. I wanna be good at everything….. Yes, I know, I was talking about it before. You already know that I am perfectionist. I thought that I can control that perfectionist inside me. Can I….?

When I say to myself:”Ok, Tara, now RELAX.” Yes, I say it, but I don’t do it. When I say:”Doesn’t matter, if your Eanglish test is not 5, but 4″, I do SAY it, but i don’t do it. And I wanna stop running, but can I? I never give up. I never quit. But sometimes we have to quit in some things, because we are not robots. But, why. Why if I know all that, why am I still trying to be soooooooooooooo perfect?

Is around here any other person who feels like me often? Is there anyone who can’t relax too? Anyone who is wrecking him/her self whit all that wanting?

Thank you guys for reading this, I love you all

❤ ❤ ❤

-Tara

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Divided

  1. Make sure to keep a balance between work and relaxation. Overworking yourself will only make things worse and will NOT help your grades at all! Make lists and keep yourself organized, but remember to find time to relax, so that your brain can rest and absorb the information it’s just taken in.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s