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Hand to hand

Hello folks! ❤

So….. Today I had very busy school day. I got one super 5(that’s A) in Slovene and we get our chem tests back. (just to tell you, if you don’t know that in Slovenia best grade is 5 and the worst 1). Chem tests are known as very hard and in my class most of people had 2. And yasssss I got good 3 🙂

But well…..Here is another thing that is, well, not ‘so good. Ok, it’s bad. I said yesterday that our chem witch is asking me today. Before me she did on girl and Johann. They both got problems(what suprised me because Johann has mostly 5). Teacher(I mean chem witch) was in bad mood, but when she saw that they don’t know everything she became angry. And yeah, she started yelling.

And…. Last time s I fell so weird if someone is yelling. Like I can’t take to see someone so angry. I makes me feel somehow….panic? Like I just wanna stop them to yell, but I can’t.

And than she come to me finally…. I wasn’t worried. I knew that i know everything. I had to answer the question and I did. And I answered right. But she started yelling at me. Why? I heard her wrong. There are two word that are very familliar and she said one, I heard second one. And than, after she started yelling on me….. I froze.

And I couldn’t move anymore. Not speak. I wasn’t able to do anything….. And she asked me next question. And I didn’t answer because I froze, as I said. And than she started to yell even more. And I don’t have any a idea of what was she saying. I was just looking to her grey, angry eyes. And I….. started to shake. And…

As far as i an remember if someone yelled on me I started crying. When I was 3. Later when I was at school already. And it’s still like that. If someone yells at me i react whit teardrops. I don’t know why, I only know that crying is on my hate list. It makes me look weak. And i don’t wanna look weak. I know, crying is not always connected whit weakness, sometimes we have to cry… But I still hate crying anyway.

And yes, I started crying this time to. Because I wasn’t able to say a word anymore, teacher said to me that she will ask me again next week. And she said that I have to go now. But I  was just standing there, shaking. And…..Than I felt something warm.

There was someone, holding my hand.

 

Tina.

 

And she took me away.  And thee was some loud quiet between us. And than someone said:’Hey, Tara.’ I looked up.

‘It’s gonna be ok’, Johann said. ‘It will be.’

 

Afcourse I am still disappointment and angry, but I still feel warm. Because of Tina and Johann.

And that make me think about those two folks again. On my blog Tina looks like a ‘bad guy’. I didn’t ever wanted her to look like that here. Well, she made  mistake…. She did. Do that makes her bad person? No. She is one of most friendly and nice people I have ever meet.

And Johann. We will left school next year. And….I don’t really wanna think about what will happen than.

Right now, I am just thankful to those two. Because In dark times we always need light. When I froze, I needed someone to woke me up from that. And they did.

And well….I don’t know what to say now.

-Tara

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