Today I started a blog post twice, but… than I deleted it. I wanted to write about something happy and optimistic, but when I was doing it, it just felt so wrong. Huh, in the moment I just don’t fell happy.
It’s just… I wanna do many things. I wanna read. I wanna write. I wanna lay on my bed and thinking about universe. But I can’t. There are so many other things to do. I have to study. I have to go to school. I have to go there and there and there…
I feel like everything, my mind, life, thoughts, my world is falling apart. I feel like a nervous wreck. I am worried all the time and I hate it. Really, REALLY, REALLY. I want to stop it, but again, I can’t. I don’t have any impact on those things.
I know that everybody feel like that. I know, we are all in stress. Right now feel…extra stressed. If you’ll tell me that I have to do list whit all the things I am worrying about, I will probably writing hours long.
This comes after nearly whole school year. Whole year of learning, studying, training, readying, doing something. Working.
Isn’t it terrible to feel that? Isn’t it terrible to feel like days are to short and nights are to long? Isn’t it terrible to woke up in the morning and the first thing on your mind is:’Oh no. Another day. School again. Work again. Everything, EVERYTHING, everything.’
Because last month I every morning woke up whit those words. Those feeling of despair. And I wanna scream on the whole WORLD, because it sometimes sucks so much. And after whole day of that mess and chaos I sometimes fall asleep whit tears in my eyes, because of this knowing. Knowing that I wanted to do so many
more things in this day, but I didn’t…………’
But it will be over soon.
Remember end of the tests and grades, summer and holidays? All that will be here soon, very soon. 🙂 Worrying, working, studying and all that stuff will be OVER. YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
So yeah. Sorry because that not-so-happy post. Well, it isn’t happy, but it is optimistic.
High five Tara. You turned that mess of crying to somehow optimistic end. No, it really is optimistic, right? Even if it’s hard now it will be over soon. Soon. 🙂
Love from Tara ❤