Hi folks. ❤
Yesterday, I nearly died. Really, no kidding. It’s because of maths afcourse. O was sitting behind my desk, lost in all that books, papers, marks, pencils, exampels and #hatingmathstothemoonandback.
At first I was like:‘Okay, let’s do this!’
Than I was like: ‘Shit I don’t get it!’
And than I was like: ‘I’ll do it.’
And than like: ‘I think so’
And than:‘I hope so.’
And after that: ‘HJFXDGHGFHGXHFDGFGGGRG, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, GET IT AWAY FROM ME, IT’S HERE TO KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRGGHHHH!
And than my mom was like:’I think is time for break…-_-
Because yeah, we have maths test tomorrow WHIT EVERYTHING THAT WE LEARNED THAT YEAR. Oh gosh. But I am gonna do it!!!!!! Yeah I am! Wooooho!(sorry, just Tara-confident mood). That mood is often the only thing that keeps me going when we are talking about maths.
And I hope that I will do it. I hope that I will write it well. Really. I wish that very much. Very, very much.
Those day are so stressful for me that I am in Tara-tired mood all the practicaly all the time and I hate it. I have so many thing to do, but I am ill and I don’t know how to deal whit that. On side of my brain wants to correct that, other just forget on it. Also I feel kinda divided many times. It’s like in some way I want to do everything, study, learn, train, work hard, etc., and in other way I just wanna let go everything, chill, eat chocolate, watch movies and read books.
Because i want it both afcourse. But I can’t because I don’t have enough time.
I feel like I am sinking because of all that stress and I don’t want to admit it, because I am too proud. I don’t wanna people to see how bad I can feel because of stress, I wanna them to see me shine, even if I have loads of stuff to do. Stupid right? I know.
I also know that here are many people that are always by my side and that will always be there for me, because they always were. But right now I don’t need them. I need myself. I need Tara-confident mood. Because this is when I am the strongest.
Because it’s impossible to climb over high wall. You have to have friend that help you rise. But than, you are the one. You have to push yourself foward. And you will fly.
But I am almost trough it. Almost. I have to hold on just a little longer.
Just a little longer.