Yeah, folks we did it! *Dances and crazy jumps across the room* Oh my gosh, I REACHED 200 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really wanna say thank you for each person who decided to follow this weird blog of crazy teen girl. You brought me a lot of happiness. Also, thank you for likes, nominations and beautiful comments.
I decided to write a blog post that includes my first steps to blogosphere. I will tell you my blogging story. It all began at 5.12.2015 when I decided that I should have a blog. In true, it wasn’t ever my idea to have a blog. It was idea of my friend, Summer. She said that i should have a blog on a shity, dark, boring day of november. She realized that I had troubles and she gave me some very useful advice.
So, as you see, it took me some week to decide that yes, I-should-have-a-blog. But that’s not where my story whit wordpress began. I sing up myself and created a blog on Slovenian site for teens. It was… lovely. This was, where I finally started to let go some of my…problems, if we call them like that.
Some weeks passed and I became comfortable whit ‘letting my mind fly across the internet’. And than one day, it was 28.1.2016, I was just reading Girl online. Than my sister came in and asked me if author of that book is a blogger too, like Penny from Girl online. I showed her Zoella’s blog. And my sis said that this blog just looks so beautiful and she asked me why I don’t have blog like that. I said that we just can’t have site like that on that Slovenian site for teens. I said that NO, I just can’t have it. And than she said:’Hm, okay.’ And she went away.
And than I asked myself:‘Why don’t I have blog like that?’
And, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUM, idea crossed my mind. Because why not? So, that’s practically how it all began. But back then, I didn’t had any a idea what a world I will open to myself.
After trouble whit singing up into wordpress and after creating the most strange, weird and crazy link in blogging history and after I finally decided name of my blog, I began to write. At first my post were like:’Hmmmm……Hello…..Is anyone…………………..here?’ At first I thought that I am not ever gonna get any follower, because I am bad at English. My English is a little poor, no doubt about it. But I didn’t care and I don’t care now. I didn’t ever look on that like on limit. Okay, maybe I did. But that limit didn’t stop me.
Do you know what was the first sentence I wrote here? I tell you. It’s here:
This is my blog and I begin with it, ’cause I love writting. My blog is not going to be very good, because I am not so good at Eanglish.
But, wathever I am hear now.
Hehe, I nearly died because of laughing when I read that today! I haven’t change anything, I just copied and pasted it here, in this blog post. Today, my posts are…different. I don’t only feel more confident in writing, I feel more confident about everyday life, myself and future. I believe that everyone on this world is meant for something. Maybe that is only a thought, a hope of fourteen years old girl afraid of oblivion that is not even close to reality. Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe it is true. Because id it does exist, that our point, point of living, point of being, than writing is mine.
Why do I know that? Not because people would say that I am a good writer, some say it, but not a lot. The thing is that I know. Because if you ask me:’When do you feel most powerful?’ I will answer you in that way:’When I came back home after a day, no matter if it was good or bad and I open my mum’s white laptop. And than I open my blog. And I start writing. And oh my gosh, when I am writing I feel so, so free. Like world doesn’t have limits anymore, and I am so passionate about writing that I sometimes felt like my fingers, slidng over laptop are on fire. Like My mind is burning, like my soul, spirit and heart are on fire. Like I am a flame. Because writing is something that nobody can’t take away from me. It’s my weapon. It’s my passion. It’s my escape. It’s my little brave bird that flies trough storms.
Because writing is simply what I do the best. Some people maybe see me as awkward, stupid failure. Once upon a time, i believed that. But that’s just not the truth. I am, I am… More deep, more powerful than some people may think, there is so much more of me inside that most of people just can’t see.
When I am writing, people can’t say to me that I am stupid or dumb, because I am wisely knitting together stories of my past and future. People can’t say that I am awkward, because I am jumping and climbing over the words whit all the streinght that I got. People can’t say that I am a wall like they used to, because I am much more than a blank space of nothing, I am deep, deep as and deepest ocean. And also, people can’t say that I am selfish and and in love whit myself, because I am just proud and I am not scared to show that.
In my life, I felt down many times, because of shit called bullying and now, when I am strong enough to not believe mean words any more. That’s why I need to show that I am proud. Because I didn’t when I should… Never throw yourself in a bunch of garbage. You are so much more.
But… If I were alone, I wouldn’t be writing this today. I don’t know where would I even be whitout my friends. Thank you Summer. Thank you Ananya. Thank you Tina. Thank you Tris. Thank you Samanta. Thank you Nick. Thank you Johann. Thank you Loti. Thank you Amber. Thank you Jess. Thank you.
And also I am thanking all of you, yes you, you the one who is reading this. Because when I felt sad, when I felt angry and I hated all the world, when I was stressed out and when I had the most terrible headaches, you were here. And you didn’t just closed my post and said:’Uhhh, just another crazy teen girl.’ You believed in me. You gave me belonging in something that I didn’t had ever before. And you were also really kind. Sometimes… When I was the most sad and I saw a totally brand new beautiful comment of kind and hopeful word from someone I didn’t even know n person, from other side of the world…… It’s a feeling I can’t explain whit my writing.
We created a beautiful story, but I believe that this is only the first chapter.