Heyyy folks ❤
After some day full of hard and serious posts on my blog, I am finally gonna write about something more relaxing what summer like I had here deserves. Whit so many stuff happenign into my head(which is normal) I almost forgot how much better I feel than during last two months of school year.
Gosh, looking back I can see that i really was a nervous wreck. And again, when i look back I am so happy to be here. Home, eating, reading, texting, watching stuff, listening to music, going to library, to swimming pool, riding my bike across fields… I am actually doing things I love, whit out having bad feelings. do you remember what was I writing about in the last months of school(other ways, check April and MAY archives…)? I told you that whenever I did things I love, like reading, writing this blog or whatever that made me feel relaxed, I felt bad, because I thought that I have to be studying, studying and studying. Arrrrrrgh.-_- In fact, I thought that being relaxed is the same as being lazy. No shit that I was feeling stressed.
However, this post didn’t meant to be in ‘Tara’s drama-queen mood’ and I didn’t wanted to cry over what was, blabalbalbla. I am trying to show… How better is now.
let’s return to point. After tests and exams finished, I had to focus on Scholar’s cup(that debate competition I was on), but that was nice, because I enjoyed it. My thoughts were somehow a mix of being nervous and being excited.I mean, at least we were going to Bangkok what is almost on the other side of the world for me. Plus, it was my first flight whit plane and I loved it. When there were turbulences I started laughing, because it was fun and all other people looked at me like I am an alien. later in Bangkok I lived one of my most amazing weeks in my life, as you know… 🙂
When I came home I was…just happy. It’s unexplainable. There were so many changes in so little time. i mean, at first I am struggling at school and then life sends me to Bangkok and let me live on full(what includes best food ever all the time, adventures, nearly fatal funny competitions, medals, nice and friendly people, shopping, brand new red dress, alpacas, no annoying sibling for one week, no evil chem teachers… I mean, isn’t that life on full?), than it sends me(life) back home and give me Heroes of Olympus series, pencakes, nutella, TV, phone, internet… Awesome.
And now i am home and i don’t feel any perfectionist’s kind of guilt because of not-working. I am just relaxing and doing stuff I really want. I a just here, at my home and being me. And it feels so good. It feels so good when you can wake up at 10am. it feels so good, because you know that you can lye in bed for hours(and afcourse ship, because you are a fangirl of so many things). It’s so nice when you can went out whit your bike and know that you can just go exploring…
I told you a million times that i am jumpy person and for me is so hard to keep calm. I am that kind of person who… Who is excited about sometihng or totally not interested. I am kind of person who hates something or loves it whit everything he has. You understand…? 0% or 100%. Nothing or everything. I am going on full, I am a risk taker. So yeah, my calm times are not something, well, usual. But last times I actually feel calm. I actually do. Like I sent school, evil teacher and other stressful things into hell. I am actually relaxed.
And… I almost want it to last forever.