Did you ever felt like… You have a need to speak about something, but on the other side you don’t dare to speak about it, because you don’t know this things at all? Well I can imagine that you do, that everyone did. So do I feel…now.
My parents were traveling a lot before I was born. One of their favorite destinations was Iraq. They said that it was one of the most beautiful and interesting place to go…before everything changed. Now there is war. There are fights. There are deaths. There is so much…suffer. So much pain. Pain that I haven’t ever meet. Pain of war.
I live in Slovenia. Slovenia is a pretty small country with 2 million people living in it. Slovenia is a safe country. It’s not perfect. Of course, there is criminal and here are bad politics, but… We don’t have war. We are just a little state somewhere there… or so we think. Or so others think. I don’t know.
The thing is that… I don’t know how to write about…this. About war. About fighs on the streets. About peaceful protest that ended violently. Because I don’t know it. And there is more… I don’t feel like I have…a right. To talk about it. Because how? How can tell a truth I haven’t seen on my own eyes? I can imagine. I can try to…know how is to feel something. But in the only true, I cannot see a war. I can’t know it. I don’t know it.
Nobody who wasn’t…there, probably doesn’t understand. People here don’t understand. Some even less than others. You can see people even joking about it here. And I think that this is just so…disgusting. But what can i do about that? People don’t know. We know that it’s there… But it’s so far. So far, not only in miles. In difference. It feels like it’s on whole other planet.
But talking about that… I don’t mean just war. I mean also other kinds of big unjustice. Exploitation of children and women. Poorness. And many others. There are men and women dying fighting. Dying while trying to protect their selves and their families. Their countries. There are kids, fighting too. And women and men die and there is no one left to care for their loved ones. And little kids die. So young.
This is..what we hear. What i hear. This is what comes out of sieve of distance. I know little, but… I know some. I that many, so many die, without mercy. And I can only wonder… How is to wake up in the morning thinking that you may did it for the last time?
And I don’t really know what or to who am i trying to explain this… Probably to myself. Because no matter what I write and what I say… I don’t understand. Why? Today I heard one person say.’Behind everything, all the good and all the shit is one strong leader or society.’ And it mostly is like that. If you look under reasons that created chaos, that created war… there is always someone powerful by it. And what do this, this powerful people mostly want? Or to make it more clear… What is everything and all about? Guessed? Money.
But I just sit here and I write about it but i don’t do anything. And I’m not sure what to say about it. I could say that i am sorry. Because I am worried and sad about things that if you look at war are so nothing. Because I was born on a peaceful place and they weren’t. I am worrying about how my room looks and some people think if they will find any food today. Or if they will even survive this day. But I am sorry… It’s also not a right thing to say. Because this is how it is and it’s not my or neither theirs fault for that. And again I can only imagine. And it doesn’t stop. It seems like one war ends and the next comes. In true it’s all only one big war.
What do you think about that? Can you imagine war in the way I do or more clear? What are your thoughts on it? Can we, people who weren’t there even change anything? How? I will be happy to hear. Thank you for reading this. 🙂