Do you know that feeling when you are coming home in the afternoon and you run into your house, because you don’t want people on the streets to see you cry? And…you just go in your room, lock yourself in and just don’t want to get out, just be there, on a bed and just cry cry and cry.
It’s a terrible feeling.
Because you feel so alone. And so damn sad. And so mad at others, at world, at yourself. And all you want is to die.
Sometimes all this life all this existing, doesn’t make sense, not at all. Because it’s so cruel. So much.And because stupid things happen and make us feel stupid even more. And there are times when…when we just don’t know what to do with it.
There are so little things, just one word, just one look that can brake us inside, so so much.
And some people just don’t realize it and they keep braking hearts on. Because some people don’t understand. Some people…just don’t feel others, not at all. Some people see only their selves. I don’t like that, but it’s the truth.
Many people I had for friends are far from me now, because of this little words.
Oh Tara I want your perfect life.
Oh Tara where is your smile today?
Oh Tara why do you have word ‘cold’ written on your hand? You don’t know how is to be cold at all…
And it broke me down inside and I felt so weak and stupid, even if those people were the stupid ones.
But I always end up with holding on. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense. Sometimes it would seem easier to just go and with going away I really mean going away. Because maybe in the hardest days or months in most fucking times of our lives, living does not make sense at all. But maybe one day it will. Because what if one day you travel the world? What if one day you find you find true love? One day it’s going to be worth, even with scars.