Today I had to pick up my brother from kindergarten. I was walking from my school over the streets and i didn’t saw a thing. I was alone with my mind, i got lost into my dreams again. Like always when no one is around.
I left behind the shops, I left behind those streets, full of people I don’t know. I walk very hurry and if wouldn’t have my heavy schoolbag I would run. I am just like that. But than, just all at once my steps started to slow down. And so I was walking, slower and slower till I stopped and I saw the tree next to me.
It was a yew. You should never eat their lovely looking red fruits, because they are poisoned. But you know, yews are great to climb on. It’s branches are so dark and so long and there are so many.
So I remembered. I remember how I was climbing on it with Johann when I was little kid and he cried because I got higher. I remember how I was lying under it and there was this crown of this giant tree hiding me from rain. I remember how I was eating ice cream with Ananya when we were in third class and she was telling me about her crush.
So i moved on and I remember ever single step I made. I remember my feet drowning deep in too white snow, I remember how windy it suddenly got and I remember how snowflakes started to dance across my face. I remember how cold it was, but I didn’t care. Because even if I was there and I am remembering this now, most of me was somewhere far far away.
And I was thinking. Time is coming for me to pick my high school. And I was walking past the block I lived in for eleven years. There is a playground where I was building igloos i winter. This is where I was waiting for my friends, but they never came back. Now I call them strangers. This is where I laughed from the most stupid and funny things on this world and this is where I cried tears because no one got a thing.
But I walked away and I never looked back. I got away and I forgot.
I feel from the yew once. And now I can clearly see how slipped and I fell and I feel how I couldn’t breath for a moment when I hit the ground. I remember that i didn’t wanted to cry in front of my friends and I tried to ignore the blood on my hands. And gosh, did that hurt. But I would give it all to do it again I would sometimes like to give it all to return back. Into those eleven years when nothing mattered.