I sometimes feel like I am hanging on strings. And to be honest, I sometimes hate it so much. We all depend, but yet, no one wants to admit it, not really. There are things we want to stand behind on our own, there are times when we don’t want anyone to help us, because we want to take the price alone. But that’s not being bad. That’s being human, isn’t it?
We hang on strings when we care too. Because caring means that your emotions depend on ones you care for. And…. If this people leave we feel it. If this people or things go, if they turn away, it’s like something brakes. It feels like things we had, things we could of have, things we almost had, disappear and world acts like the were never there at all even if you remember them all the time. So you keep on asking yourself if you are dreaming and you keep on going insane.
Sometimes I don’t want to care about anything. Because sometimes, caring means losing and losing means pain and pain means braking. It would be so much easier not to ever deal with any of this. It would be so much easier if we wouldn’t ever have to survive trough life. But heck, we just have too. It’s not all about looking for rainbows. Sometimes you have to fight.
But if we wouldn’t care we would be indifferent. And without love and hate that caring brings, there wouldn’t be wars, there wouldn’t be so much pain, there wouldn’t be so much bad things that root inside of us and makes the whole world shit. But it would be so empty.
Because yes, this world really is shit, but yet flowers grow too. And so, even if I hate hanging on strings, I love it too. For all the good things. For all the moments when we were not left behind. For the times when we were not alone. For the time when we were happy because we cared. When love brought us something good, for once. Or twice.
And sometimes it’s worth to hang on strings and let the life play on them. It’s not like you can cut them anyway.